erik H. gellert
santa fe, new mexico, usa
I really want to connect with people. During the first stages of this pandemic I was calling everyone I could think of. I was making doodles people could download and color in. I had devised a new way of collaborative sculpting. I needed other people to validate my existence during all this turmoil. Perhaps this sentiment is not all that different from pre-Covid days, but it all became amplified.
Eventually, I found my way back to the studio in relative solitude. Either just me or, working across from me, my quarantine buddy—my wife, Esther. And when I stopped panicking, the move was natural: back to an abandoned series of works that still held potential. Abandoned not for lack of ideas but, more likely, because I didn’t really believe in myself and couldn’t accept the successes I had had with it.
So now, I’m back at it and, without any hope of showing this work in the future to a regular audience, I have been fairly content to show off my progress on Instagram without much care as to how it will be received. Imagine that: a platform that’s designed to make you feel bad has started to lose its grip on me. I now feel freer simply to be myself (which is sometimes an act) and to be ok with that.
If you have the means to get by at the moment, I feel this is the time to get in touch with who you really are. Your duty is then never to forget what you have found, and to be forgiving of yourself and others through this whole process.